So, as I left today I saw out of the corner of my eyes that he was moving faster to get behind me. I often notice him watching me (because he's very unsubtle.) - sometimes I can ignore it, sometimes a give a friendly nod and get back to work and sometimes it really freaks me out. We see each other quite often in the library and while he's nice to look at, I don't want anything from him. I was in the campus library and when I left, I noticed a guy following me. Thinking you can change how you feel about sex and then slowly realising no else bothers doing so because it's natural to them, no one cares if you try and that they are most likely going to think you are fake for trying to fit in their social circle.Ĭoming across random innocuous sexual conversations in unrelated settings that don't mean anything to anyone else but to you are an ever present constant reminder it's vitally important for you to explore ever last ounce of your mind on the off chance you are vaguely normal. When you start relating to the people everyone else hates on the off chance their mind works like yours and you'll connect with them only to find out they are just like everyone else (but at least your anger subsides for a bit). Relating to people when they feel down more because that's just about the only time their minds work the same way yours does, of course they end up hating that period in retrospect and you feel totally worthless as a result. Not realising that drug habits are compensatory to natural biological processes. Not realising all the teens that want to get pass out drunk are already getting high off their own bodies constantly. Not appreciating how Bulimia isn't half as shocking once you realise it's sexual connotations. When I thought exploring how my body worked was a form of self harm and not a latent sexual urge.
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